Slummy Mummy

I'm not sure who coined the phrase 'yummy mummy' but I have a feeling it was designed to make the mere mortals amongst us feel hopelessly inadequate. 'Slummy mummy' or perhaps 'scummy mummy' might be more appropriate and they certainly apply to me on a more than regular basis these days. I mean I'm not just talking about the odd assortment of clothes I now finding myself wearing; a random combination of what I can dig out of the wardrobe that fits, but I also find I'm often wearing a little eau de vomit along with a dodgy hairdo and a slightly frazzled look.

However, I shouldn't feel disheartened, I only need to look back a few months to realise that this is actually an improvement. A week after the baby arrived a friend dropped by at about midday to be greeted at the door by me, still in my dressing gown and sporting the rather attractive, hospital issue thrombosis socks, oh the embarrassment!

On holiday a year apart... before...

...and after! (Ooh look clashing colours, a dodgy do,  straining buttons and mummy tummy making an appearance from under the tshirt ha ha!)

Mind you, even that wasn't as embarrassing as the time I went to my local New Mother and Baby group only to leak breast milk all over my top and then almost squirt the woman sitting next to me when trying to feed bubs - no one ever mentioned to me the range you could get on the old babushkas. So ladies, take heed, don't sit too close to others when you breast feed and always remember to use some good quality breast pads (I'd recommend either the Lansinoh or Tommy Tippee ones, don't buy the cheap ones, it's not worth it) and always pack a spare top for yourself when out and about. Motherhood, glamorous? Rubbish! But I wouldn't change it for the world.

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The Happy Mummy: Some 'practical' advice...

The Happy Mummy: Some 'practical' advice...: 5 things to do before baby is born: 1. Go away, by yourselves, for the weekend. You might not really have the money for it as you are bu...

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The Happy Mummy: Roasted Vegatables and Goats' Cheese Crostini

The Happy Mummy: Roasted Vegatables and Goats' Cheese Crostini: Amongst the many things that I avoided eating during pregnancy, the thing I hankered after most was a nice bit of goats' cheese. So imagine ...

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Roasted Vegatables and Goats' Cheese Crostini

Amongst the many things that I avoided eating during pregnancy, the thing I hankered after most was a nice bit of goats' cheese. So imagine my delight when I stumbled upon the following goats' cheese recipe in Woman and Home magazine (how middle aged am I?!), featuring Tesco Everyday Value ingredients; cheap, quick and delicious!

Roasted Vegetables and Goats' Cheese Crostini

(Serves 4)

Ingredients

1 red onion cut into chunks
1 aubergine cut into chunks
1 courgette cut into chunks
1 tbsp olive oil
1tbsp of thyme leaves (I used chopped rosemary leaves instead as I didn't have thyme and it was just as tasty)
1tbsp capers (optional)
250g of cherry tomatoes
8 slices of garlic bread
150g goats' cheese sliced into 8
2tbsp of onion chutney
Balsamic vinegar
Crumbled walnuts (optional)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to gas mark 7

2. Place all the vegetables, except for the tomatoes, into a large roasting tin and toss with oil and thyme. Season well and place in the oven for 10 minutes.

3. After 10 minutes add the capers and tomatoes and cook for a further 10 minutes

4. Nestle the garlic bread slices amongst the vegetables and bake for 5 minutes

5. Top the garlic bread slices with the goats' cheese and grill until the cheese is soft and bubbling

6. Serve the garlic bread and goats' cheese on a bed of your roasted vegetables

7. Finish off by topping your goats' cheese with the onion chutney, a scattering of crumbled walnuts and a drizzle of balasamic vinegar

This recipe was delicious and really only took minutes to prepare; perfect when you don't have much time on your hands, which I certainly don't have these days. Perhaps not great for helping to eliminate the baby pouch, but hey who cares when dinner tastes this good!

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Some 'practical' advice...

5 things to do before baby is born:

1. Go away, by yourselves, for the weekend.
You might not really have the money for it as you are busy saving for all the 'must have' paraphernalia you need for baby, but you really won't have the money, or the time for this once baby arrives.

2. Enjoy being able go for a drink at the pub, out for dinner or to the cinema on a whim, you won't be able to do this so easily soon!

3. Begin stocking up on the essentials: nappies, wipes, nappy rash cream as you approach D Day, it will help spread the cost after baby arrives. You'll be amazed at how quickly you get through stuff and how much extra cash you're spending on your weekly shop.

4. Series link anything that looks good on your TV planner. You'll be grateful for this during the early stages of labour and for all of those times when you are feeding your baby - especially late at night.

5. Make the most of people doing everything for you and put your feet up. All too soon you'll be doing everything, the word 'multi tasking' doesn't even cover what you'll be expected to do.

5 things that you'll swear will never happen to you (but will) once baby is born:

Sensible haircut? Check. Practical footwear? Check. Ridiculous sized parasol? Check.  Overstuffed change bag? Check. I could go on...

1. You'll get a sensible haircut.

2. Practical will be the new fashionable. You might even wear a bum bag. (Did I really put that in print? I admit, it may have happened once or twice, well I do only have two hands!)

3. Dads will begin to perfect the art of embarrassing Dad Dancing. (I have video evidence of this, but Captain Sensible has forbidden me to publish it! He'll have to stay in my good books.)

4. You'll talk about your child's poo, vomit etc etc A LOT, to anyone. In fact you'll  become one of those annoying people that talk about your baby, all the time, to anyone.

5. You'll try to colour coordinate your outfit with the baby's at least once!

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What the fuzz!!?

Well not quite the expression I used this morning when I realised I had locked my keys in the car along with the dog, but not too far off. Luckily the baby was still strapped to me or it could have been a real disaster.

Fortuitously, seeing as none of my nearest or dearest would answer their phones to come and rescue me, a policeman happened to be passing, so I flagged him down and rather shamefacedly alerted him to  my plight.

The first plan of action was to get the spare set of car keys from the house but of course this proved rather difficult as my house keys were also locked in the boot of the car and Captain Sensible has ensured that the house is like Fort Knox. Even Mr Policeman couldn't find a way in as apparently we have a "decent" front door lock which doesn't make it very easy to: "kick the door down." Now that really wouldn't have gone down too well with the other half.

Eventually with the aid of a: local camper; his wire coat hanger; a rather burly police officer and a metal pole we managed to get the rear window down and I was able to extract my keys.

A rather mortifying start to the day indeed to be witnessed by the rather nice Mr Policeman and passing motorists, especially given that all of this took place with me rocking early morning, Jeremy Kyle chic: no makeup, wet hair and white socks and slippers (I'd just taken off my wellies and they were in the boot - of course I don't wear socks and slippers out in public normally!)

Still, on the bright side, the dog was fine and Olive got to sit in a police car and have her mug shot taken with Mr Policeman. Women drivers eh?

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Where are the instructions?

Amongst the myriad of things that I have accumulated to aid me with the day to day care of bubs, some of it has been brilliant (my Baby Bjorn carrier for walking the dog) and some of it has been useless. Of course everyone tells you that half the stuff you buy/get given will be a waste of time, but each baby is different and with your first baby, isn't half the fun finding all that stuff out for yourself?

We've been lucky enough to have some very generous friends who have given and lent us stuff along the way, so at least this foray into the unknown realms of baby equipment hasn't meant complete bankruptcy - almost, but not quite!

Of the things I have been given, some of the baby books friends recommended were invaluable, others left me in tears and were soon relegated to the bin.

Unfortunately, unlike furniture from IKEA, babies don't come with instructions, so a good book or two can be really useful and there are two in particular that I really liked. The first book, 'The Rough Guide To Pregnancy and Birth' by Kaz Cooke, kept me company throughout my pregnancy and was a humorous and fairly informative guide of what to expect week by week. It gave you details about what should be happening to you and baby and what you might start thinking about in terms of getting organised, as well as including amusing diary entries from the author herself.

The second and probably even more useful book for me has been 'Your Baby Week By Week: The ultimate guide to caring for your new baby, by Dr Caroline Fertleman (great name!) and Simon Cave. I liked this book because it doesn't make any judgements or tell you what you should do. It tells you what you might expect and what you might want to start thinking about trying. This kind of approach has been great for me, as although I want to get into some sort of routine, I also want it
to be flexible enough so that I can still go out and about.

Any other recommendations for good books or baby equipment, please let me know.

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