Captain Sensible Is From Mars, I Am From Venus

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Having spent almost the past year safely and comfortably cocooned in my new mummy bubble, it has finally dawned on me that I’ve let myself go a bit: I’m a little baggier around the middle; my boobs now resemble deflated balloons, the kind that, if you leave them lying around for a while, go all wrinkly and soft; my eyebrows are more hedgerows, my clothes mismatched and accessorised with snot and my hair… well the less said the better really.

But what really spurred me on to take action was the response I got from Captain Sensible when I asked him if he thought I’d lost weight.

With uncharacteristic foolhardiness or stupidity (I’m not sure which), Captain Sensible did not answer with the expected and safe answer of ‘Of course,’ or ‘you don’t need to lose weight.’ Oh no, he decided to stick, not just his head, but his whole body in the oven by responding with: “Well you have had a baby.”

In other words: “No. You’re still looking a little tubby!”

We’re still not speaking…

Anyway, it got me thinking; time for an overhaul, a self -designed mummy makeover and here’s my list of 5 things (Let’s keep it achievable) I’m going to do: (I’ll let you know how I get on!)

   1.     Tone up  - So far so good, although I think I might have broken   my wrist last night doing some rather vigorous squat thrusts!
   2.     Learn to skate board – My nephew got a skateboard for his birthday and it was loads of fun. It’s not odd for a thirty something woman to be out and about boarding is it?!?
   3.     Write more – Pursue the things I love to do, I’ve been putting it off for long enough.
   4.     Get a TOWIE - esque makeover: fake tan, fake nails, fake eyelashes, the works!
   5.     Divorce my husband for not lying to me – Well maybe that one’s a bit extreme, he’s pretty awesome most of the time.
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1 comment

  1. Poor Captain Sensible! He is just a man, we say stupid things from time to time! Entertaining read!

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