Slummy Mummy

I'm not sure who coined the phrase 'yummy mummy' but I have a feeling it was designed to make the mere mortals amongst us feel hopelessly inadequate. 'Slummy mummy' or perhaps 'scummy mummy' might be more appropriate and they certainly apply to me on a more than regular basis these days. I mean I'm not just talking about the odd assortment of clothes I now finding myself wearing; a random combination of what I can dig out of the wardrobe that fits, but I also find I'm often wearing a little eau de vomit along with a dodgy hairdo and a slightly frazzled look.

However, I shouldn't feel disheartened, I only need to look back a few months to realise that this is actually an improvement. A week after the baby arrived a friend dropped by at about midday to be greeted at the door by me, still in my dressing gown and sporting the rather attractive, hospital issue thrombosis socks, oh the embarrassment!

On holiday a year apart... before...

...and after! (Ooh look clashing colours, a dodgy do,  straining buttons and mummy tummy making an appearance from under the tshirt ha ha!)

Mind you, even that wasn't as embarrassing as the time I went to my local New Mother and Baby group only to leak breast milk all over my top and then almost squirt the woman sitting next to me when trying to feed bubs - no one ever mentioned to me the range you could get on the old babushkas. So ladies, take heed, don't sit too close to others when you breast feed and always remember to use some good quality breast pads (I'd recommend either the Lansinoh or Tommy Tippee ones, don't buy the cheap ones, it's not worth it) and always pack a spare top for yourself when out and about. Motherhood, glamorous? Rubbish! But I wouldn't change it for the world.

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The Mummy Fairy

Like many of you out there,  motherhood seemed to be an elusive dream until earlier this year when my wish was finally granted and my husband and I became the proud parents of a beautiful baby girl.  Determined to make the most of this much longed for arrival, I managed to persuade my husband (let's call him Mr Sensible) to let me take nine months off work to devote myself to my little bundle of fun.

Of course, in an ideal world, I wouldn't have to return to work until my daughter was at School and I could spend the next few years enjoying motherhood to the fullest. But with the pressures of modern living, there is no doubt that, financially, even these 9 months are going to be a struggle, just like they are for any other parent.

And just like any other first-time parent there are days when you don't know which way is up; the baby is crying (you don't know why, even though the books tell you you should be able to work it out), the house is a tip and there hasn't been enough time in the day to do any of the jobs you had planned to do. So I'll be sharing my stories and tips: the good, the bad and the ugly, in the hope that this blog might help some mummies achieve the following three wishes: to save time, save money and save their sanity!

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